The Real World, self-doubt
Rapidly approaching the end of my college career, I feel old for the first time in my life. I've always looked older, mostly because of my height, but I've never felt older. Watching my friends get married, approaching graduation from college and becoming the best man in my best friend's wedding has done that to me.
But what scares me about this time in my life is the uncertainty. I feel like I'm just figuring out what I want to do in my life, i.e. the things I've always loved doing: photography, writing, traveling, the outdoors and adventure. Basically, photojournalism.
The problem with the profession is the competition: you have to be the best, you need the eye for photography before you can have any kind of success. I feel there are thousands of photographers out there(heck, maybe millions) that don't have it, but still what they love doing. Nothing against them, but I don't want to be one of those people. Someone who works hard, but really doesn't have what it takes to make it in the field.
Because in photojournalism, in most of photography, you either got it or you don't. There's not a whole lot of in between. Sure, there are some who are more talented than others, but the vast majority of successful photojournalists have what it takes: The Eye. Seeing what others don't, anticipating the decisive moment before it happens, making paintings out of everyday life; that's photojournalism, that's The Eye. And, as the successful ones say: either you have it or you're out of luck. Hard to make it in the field if you don't have the talent.
And that's what bugs me. I want this, more than I've ever wanted anything before in my life. But is this just a crazy dream? I've never been so doubtful of something I've wanted before.
There are 2 solutions to this problem: either I drop out of this profession, this dream, and take another, safer route. OR I dive in, head first and risk it all. The risk would be high and I would be playing for the whole pot, but if I win, I win huge.
Which will I choose?
Rapidly approaching the end of my college career, I feel old for the first time in my life. I've always looked older, mostly because of my height, but I've never felt older. Watching my friends get married, approaching graduation from college and becoming the best man in my best friend's wedding has done that to me.
But what scares me about this time in my life is the uncertainty. I feel like I'm just figuring out what I want to do in my life, i.e. the things I've always loved doing: photography, writing, traveling, the outdoors and adventure. Basically, photojournalism.
The problem with the profession is the competition: you have to be the best, you need the eye for photography before you can have any kind of success. I feel there are thousands of photographers out there(heck, maybe millions) that don't have it, but still what they love doing. Nothing against them, but I don't want to be one of those people. Someone who works hard, but really doesn't have what it takes to make it in the field.
Because in photojournalism, in most of photography, you either got it or you don't. There's not a whole lot of in between. Sure, there are some who are more talented than others, but the vast majority of successful photojournalists have what it takes: The Eye. Seeing what others don't, anticipating the decisive moment before it happens, making paintings out of everyday life; that's photojournalism, that's The Eye. And, as the successful ones say: either you have it or you're out of luck. Hard to make it in the field if you don't have the talent.
And that's what bugs me. I want this, more than I've ever wanted anything before in my life. But is this just a crazy dream? I've never been so doubtful of something I've wanted before.
There are 2 solutions to this problem: either I drop out of this profession, this dream, and take another, safer route. OR I dive in, head first and risk it all. The risk would be high and I would be playing for the whole pot, but if I win, I win huge.
Which will I choose?
posted by Rudz | 7:20 PM
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